Speech Communities: Misunderstandings between Gender Speech Communities

     In chapter 4 of our textbook the topic of speech communities is addressed. Julia T. Wood states that a speech community "exists when people share norms about how to use talk and what purposes it serves." Researchers have explored the way men and women are socialized into some different understandings of how communication functions, and the way their communication varies in practice. Our book highlights three areas of interest: Socialization into gender speech communities, gendered communication in practice, and misunderstandings between gender speech communities. I'd like to focus on the misunderstandings that take place between male and female speech communities.

    
    Misunderstanding occurs among different gender communities when men and women discuss problems. For example, if a woman tells a man about something that is bothering her, he offers a practical solution in order to try and resolve the problem. However, our book tells us that feminine communities see communication as a way to build connections with others, so they often look for empathy and discussion about their feelings to occur before searching for a solution. This is problematic because women can feel that men's responses to their problems are uncaring. Men may feel frustrated when women offer empathy instead of advice for solving their problems. Different styles of listening are another example of interactions between men and women that may lead to misunderstanding. Women tend to make listening noises such as "mmhmm", "yeah", and "I know what you mean." Masculine communities tend to use less listening noises when listening to others. Feminine communities can interpret this as poor listening or not caring. "Gender is just one example of many speech communities. Communication patterns vary among people from different social groups, even if they live in the same society," according to Wood.

     I found this concept particularly interesting because I found this information to very accurate, for the most part. My family consists of my mother and father and my three sisters. That means a lot of females under one roof. Growing up, I had always related to my father and we get along effortlessly. We both can just sit with one another and be comfortable with only a small exchange of words. My mother and sisters on the other hand like to discuss every facet of their day right when they walk in the room. I was never a very good listener in their eyes because I did not use listening noises when they told stories nor did I spend a lot of time empathizing with them. Instead, I would try to come up with a solution to their problem as quickly as possible because I wanted to fix the issue. I definitely practice a more masculine communication style than the rest of the women in my household and even in my relationship with my boyfriend.

     My boyfriend Ron and I have been dating for a little over two years now and I truly value our relationship. We are very much in love and in like with one another. I say it that way because I have relationships with people I love and feel an obligation to love because they are family or I am emotionally invested in the relationship. With Ron, I love and like to be around him all the time. It's not that butterfly feeling every time I see him like when we were dating but something so much more. I love his character, his integrity, his passion, and his loyalty. He's my best friend. That being said, we have different communication styles even though we belong to different speech communities. Ron embodies a feminine communication style while I encompass a masculine speech style. For example, I always want to help Ron solve is problems when listening to his concerns. I do not make the right listening noises and instead of empathizing with him I tend to go straight for the practical. I tend to forget that Ron is a very smart man and probably can come to a conclusion or solution to his problem on his own. However, he is choosing to share his problem with me to draw closer to me and build intimacy in our relationship. The way Ron and I are able to work through our different speech styles is by communicating what we need from one another. If Ron wants input and advice about a certain problem he makes that clear and I am more than willing to jump in. Ron has learned to do the same for me and comfort me in the ways I need to be comforted and I feel it has strengthened our relationship. 

I thought this clip demonstrated some of the differences in masculine speech communities and feminie speech communities.